


Itsy Bitsy Spider

by gaylock



Series: OneShots [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Freeform, John is his hero, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Mrs. Hudson makes the best biscuits and tea, One-Shot, Sherlock is afraid of spiders, Sherlock loves chocolate, a knight in shining armour, the itsy bitsy spider, very very afraid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:44:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7912159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaylock/pseuds/gaylock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: sherlock is super afraid of spiders and freaks out when he sees one (shrieks like a little girl) so john comes to the rescue and captures it and puts it outside (because he so wouldn't kill it, he's sucha softy) and basically john is just a knight in shining armour about the basic domestic shit that goes on in 221b and sherlock is incapable of basically anything normal. plus mrs. hudson probably makes tea to calm him down after</p>
            </blockquote>





	Itsy Bitsy Spider

Sherlock flopped down onto the couch gracelessly, in the beginnings of a sulk. His eyes were shut tight, and his mouth turned down in a dramatic pout. John, sitting in the armchair across from the couch, ignored him completely.

"Jawwwwwn!" He whined, rolling over to face his flatmate.

John barely glanced up from his book. "Hmmm?"

Sherlock rolled over, restless. "I'm bored!" 

John sighed and turned to the next page in his book. "Yes, I know." He said absentmindedly before he lifted his teacup to his lips and took a slow sip.

Sherlock cracked one eye open and scowled. "John!" 

Finally, John looked up. "What? Can't you see I'm busy reading?" He looked pointedly down at his book for a moment, raising an eyebrow in question.

Sherlock huffed out an irritated breath and opened both his eyes to glare at him. "Dull." He muttered.

John sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, let me just finish this chapter, yeah? Then we can go bug Greg for a case or something." 

Just as he was about to turn back to his book, Sherlock pulled himself up into a sitting position. "Don't bother, the girl's not dead and the dad is the one who stole the baby."

"Sherlock!" 

"Oh, and the girl is actually the boy's twin sister, which is how they find out that the baby is actually stolen," Sherlock said, standing up and beginning to pace.

John narrowed his eyes before slamming his book shut and standing up to glare at the taller man. "I was looking forward to reading that and figuring that out for myself, you prat!"

Sherlock paused to shrug at him. "You're welcome."

John sighed, his lips pinched together, and glanced down at his now ruined book. "Why do I even bother?" he asked himself softly.

"Why indeed, the books you choose are ever so dull," came the unwelcome (though not unexpected) reply and John couldn't help but huff out a laugh. Honestly, for a genius Sherlock could be alarmingly obtuse when he wanted to be.

John drained the last of his tea and stood up, moving towards the kitchen in order to place his cup in the sink. "So, Scotland Yard then? Though Greg did say it was supposed to be a bit slow this week..." John hummed quietly under his breath before he was interrupted by a loud, high-pitched shriek. "Sherlock? You alright?" He asked in alarm, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion as he turned slightly to glance into the sitting room.

"John! John, kill it, _kill it right now!_ " Sherlock's voice rose higher with each word as he shouted from his standing position on the back of the couch.

"Sherlock, what the bloody hell are you doing?!" John moved into the sitting room quickly, his teacup forgotten.

Sherlock was shaking, his eyes wide with terror as he pointed down at the floor. "Please, just kill it! Is it moving? _Oh, my god, it's moving_ , fucking bloody buggering fuck!" He flailed his arms wildly around, trying to move away from the tiny black dot that was now scurrying around on the carpet below.

John crouched down to look at what the hell Sherlock was pointing at and began to giggle. His giggles turned into full out laughter, his sides shaking as he laughed while watching the tiny harmless garden spider crawl slowly across the carpet towards him.

"It's not funny!" Sherlock shouted at him, his body leaning as far away from the spider as possible. 

"It's tiny, not even the size of a penny! Honestly Sherlock, it's totally harmless." John reached out a hand and let the tiny spider crawl onto his palm. He stood up slowly, his hands cupped in front of him in order to keep the spider trapped within.

Sherlock watched John capture the spider, and once the arachnid had disappeared, he relaxed. He stepped down from the back of the couch, trying to calm down and stop shaking. John moved forwards to try and show him how tiny and harmless the spider actually was, but before he could even move a foot, Sherlock was rushing across the room to his bedroom door, where he glared darkly at John before locking himself in his room with a shouted, "Put it outside for godsakes! And if you try to show it to me one more time, _I swear I will use your bed for my next experiment with sheep intestines!"_

John chuckled to himself as he made his way down the stairs and out the door to the street below, where he crouched down and placed the spider on the front steps. "There you go, little guy," he said softly as he watched it scuttle away. He stood up and walked back into the flat, meeting Mrs. Hudson halfway. 

"Hullo Mrs. Hudson," he said pleasantly. "Sorry 'bout all that racket a moment ago." He smiled sheepishly at her and joined her on the stairs up to his flat.

"Hello dear. I was just on my way up to see what all that was about." She said, her sensible kitten heels tapping rhythmically against the stairs.

John giggled slightly before composing himself. "Oh, that was just Sherlock." When she raised an eyebrow at him, he grinned and clarified. "He saw a spider."

She nodded and smiled. "Ah, well that explains the shouting. The lad has been afraid of spiders since he was a boy, according to his brother. Used to make me come all the way up just to deal with them." She huffed fondly and shook her head. 

John tried to picture Mrs. Hudson in her cardigans and heels, holding a broom and chasing spiders away, and only barely managed to stop himself from breaking out into fresh giggles. He held the door to the flat open and they both stepped in.

"Yoohoo! I've brought tea, Sherlock!" She called out as she entered the flat.

"I don't want any," came the muffled, sulky reply from behind the still locked bedroom door.

John and Mrs. Hudson glanced at each other in amusement. She put the tray down on the table in the sitting room and picked up the biscuit tin. She rattled it lightly and said,

"There's biscuits!" 

They both heard the click of a lock, and Sherlock's door opened just a crack, his eyes peering out suspiciously. "Biscuits?" 

"Yes dear, your favourites. Double chocolate with coconut sprinkles, I just bought them yesterday." She assured him, rattling the tin once more invitingly.

Sherlock scowled but opened his door grudgingly, moving cautiously across the carpet, his eyes scanning the room for any eight-legged creatures that might be lurking, waiting to attack. Once he made it far enough, he flung himself onto the couch, perching his impossibly long body on just one arm. John watched all of this in amused wonder, while Mrs. Hudson looked on

Mrs. Hudson looked on fondly as if this was a regular occurrence. 

After his complete scan of the room, Sherlock turned to look at John. "It's gone?" he asked, his voice small.

John jolted out of his amused stupor and nodded quickly. "Yup, it's gone." 

Sherlock let out a breath and seemed to deflate in relief, his stiff body finally relaxing. He slid down from the arm of the couch to his regular sitting position and picked up his mug and the tin of biscuits. " _Good_." He shook himself and sat up straight, taking a sip from his cup and nibbling a biscuit slowly.

Mrs. Hudson smiled and motioned for John to take a cup as well, showing him the plate of plain biscuits she'd placed there for him. "Well, drink up then. There's nothing a good cuppa and a biscuit or two won't fix." She patted Sherlock on the head lightly before moving to open the door and walking out into the hall.


End file.
